Enneagram Test

As part of the discernment process in the Western North Carolina Diocese, all aspirants are required to take an Enneagram test - a type of personality test. I was predominantly a type 2 (The Helper) with types 1 (the Reformer), 3 (The Achiever), and 6 (the Loyalist), all tying for second place. Pretty interesting test, to be sure. There were pages and pages of information about Twos but I just copied the introduction to the description.

Generally, Twos are caring, empathetic, warm, thoughtful, appreciative, generous, other-oriented, tactile, affectionate, well intentioned, and demonstrative.

Twos get into conflicts by being people-pleasing, flattering, ingratiating, clingy, worried, possessive, insincere, seductive, self-important, and self-deceptive.

At their best, Twos are encouraging, loving, self-nurturing, constant, joyous, humble, forgiving, gracious, and compassionate.

Recognizing Twos

Type Two exemplifies the desire to feel loved, to connect with others in a heartfelt way, and to be a source of benevolence and love in our world. Twos are easily the most people-oriented of the Enneagram types. They focus on relationship and feel best about themselves when they are meaningfully engaged with others. They want to share the good in their lives and genuinely enjoy supporting others with their attention and care. Insofar as they can, Twos make good things happen for people. They will stay up late to take care of children or older folks, drive across town to bring food, or see to it that others get medical treatment. When there is practical work to be done for others, healthy Twos will be there, throwing themselves into the effort heart and soul.

Twos are genuinely interested in other people and in the details of their lives. They remember to send birthday and holiday cards long after their friends have moved away. They also remember your spouse's name and the names of your children and pets—plus who has which allergies and what their major was in college. Twos are the first in the kitchen after a party to help out with the cleanup. At the office, Twos have a bowl of candy or a tin of cookies at their desk—not for themselves, but for anyone who drops by to chat. They are constantly thinking of others, and they try to do nice things so that others will think well of them.

Maundy Thursday

What a beautiful service. Even if it was two hours long... A beautiful liturgy, touching sermon, foot washing, & the stripping and washing of the sanctuary and alter. On Maundy Thursday, we celebrate the last supper and remember Judas' betrayal. The Eucharist at this service always means so much more to me. It really hits home how important this must be to Jesus, that he shared one last meal with his disciples - his brothers - before knowingly going to his death. Father Bob used to take us Salem ladies out to eat for fellowship and a good meal away from Salem's kitchens. He had taken many trips to Israel and loved to tell us about how, in the Holy land, sharing a meal meant that you are forever family with those your shared it with. Now picture every Christian in every denomination taking communion Sunday after Sunday (or any other Holy celebration) - spanning back for thousands of years. We are all connected - to each other today and to our ancestors and the first disciples - through this final meal with Christ. We are all family in Him and through his Eucharist.

Before sharing a final meal with his disciples, Jesus washed their feet, against their protest. I can just hear them, "The Son of God shouldn't be washing my feet! Please, Lord, allow me to wash yours instead." It's so much more comfortable to be the servant in this case.

As I walked up to the front of the church with my bare feet, I realized that I would be so much more comfortable washing other's feet than having mine washed by someone else. Sitting there, being cared for in that way by our priest with nothing to give in return... it's uncomfortable. I thought about how much I love Special Session at Camp McDowell and how much that week in service to another in Christ means to me. I am attached to that high and sense of self worth that comes with taking care of another. I take care of Donald, I take care of my friends, I take care of Blake and my family. It's how I show my love and how I make myself feel worthy of their love and care. Even when I'm being taken care of, I sit there and feel guilty about it. "I really should be helping." "I can do that faster and save them time." "It really should be me."

How would it feel to spend a whole week as a camper? Would I spend my time feeling guilty? Trying to think of ways to even the score, to make myself worthy of my counselor's attention? Is that how some of our high functioning campers feel? What peace of mind, sense of self, or entitlement allows us to be served in such a seemingly one-way relationship? (Of course we know that this relationship is anything but one way, but that's for another day) What if allowing ourselves to be served, to be cared for, is really just allowing ourselves to be loved? I think that's really hard for me. Just accepting free, agape love for who I am, as I am, where I am.

It is appropriate that I spend some time with this particular struggle today because on Maundy Thursday, we also remember Jesus' command to us all. (John 13:34) "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." Love. We must love one another - the rich, the poor, the sick, the old, the young, the annoying, the beautiful, the skinny, the fat, the ugly, the petty, the crazy, the dirty, the preps, the homeless, the geeks, the athiests, the Hindu, the Muslims, the priests, the Baptists, the Episcopalians, the evangelical, the misguided, the pedophiles, the adulterers, the bullies, the kind-hearted, the proud, and the meek. Even those who would betray Christ, we are called in this commandment to love. We aren't called to discern WHO to love, who deserves to be loved, or who should be judged instead. We are just commanded to LOVE. Freely and unceasingly.

We are not only called to love one another, but to accept that love from each other and from God. We can't pour out of ourselves forever and never run dry. We have to accept the love and caring and kindness of those around us - strangers, God, and friends. Find some time this week to sit with God and just be. Don't ask for anything, don't thank Him for anything. Just sit before him in loving silence and wordlessly turn over whatever burdens you drag around for him to lovingly carry for you for even those few minutes.



John 13
(Jesus Washes His Disciples' Feet)
1It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.[a]

2The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. 3Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

6He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?"

7Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."

8"No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet."
Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me."

9"Then, Lord," Simon Peter replied, "not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!"

10Jesus answered, "A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you." 11For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean.

12When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. 13"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

(Jesus Predicts His Betrayal)
18"I am not referring to all of you; I know those I have chosen. But this is to fulfill the scripture: 'He who shares my bread has lifted up his heel against me.'[b]

19"I am telling you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe that I am He. 20I tell you the truth, whoever accepts anyone I send accepts me; and whoever accepts me accepts the one who sent me."

21After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, "I tell you the truth, one of you is going to betray me."

22His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant. 23One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him. 24Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, "Ask him which one he means."

25Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, "Lord, who is it?"

26Jesus answered, "It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish." Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas Iscariot, son of Simon. 27As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him.

"What you are about to do, do quickly," Jesus told him, 28but no one at the meal understood why Jesus said this to him. 29Since Judas had charge of the money, some thought Jesus was telling him to buy what was needed for the Feast, or to give something to the poor. 30As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night.

(Jesus Predicts Peter's Denial)
31When he was gone, Jesus said, "Now is the Son of Man glorified and God is glorified in him. 32If God is glorified in him,[c] God will glorify the Son in himself, and will glorify him at once.

33"My children, I will be with you only a little longer. You will look for me, and just as I told the Jews, so I tell you now: Where I am going, you cannot come.

34"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

36Simon Peter asked him, "Lord, where are you going?"
Jesus replied, "Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later."

37Peter asked, "Lord, why can't I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you."

38Then Jesus answered, "Will you really lay down your life for me? I tell you the truth, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!