Secret Prayers

Earlier I posted the Gospel reading from our Ash Wednesday service. This particular reading made me think of so much - all in a few short sentences. Matthew 6:5-8 hits the nail on the head when it comes to confronting some of my religious prejudices and my prayer life. I hope to really meditate on it for the next few days.

5"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. ⁶But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. ⁷And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. ⁸Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."

Matthew and I find it annoying when people pray and do kind works more to show others how holy they are than to actually worship God or do good. I often feel uncomfortable with public prayer because it is so personal and I feel so vulnerable. I feel almost cheap when I pray for the benefit of a group, trying to show everyone how thoughtful I am and cover all the right things. It makes me nervous (imagine how silly it is to be nervous talking to God! but then again, if it was just God, I wouldn't be nervous... but i'm off on a parenthetical tangent) and takes so much away from the experience because it's not just between me and the big guy anymore, and people can be so judgmental (myself included, of course).

Prayer is a private conversation between me and God and can be done through complete silence. Our Father knows what we need, what we want to share, long before we take the time to put the words together. It is the act of taking the time to give to God, spending time acknowledging him and listening, that is the most important part of my prayer life.